your enemies friend

It's Winetastic

armegeddon is at hand

You're probably asking yourself exactly what I asked myself ten minutes ago; Sweet fucking shit Christ, what in the living hell is that?

It's a monkey-pig.  And it's going to give me nightmares for weeks.

This horrific devil spawn was born in China recently, presumably after a monkey fucked a farmer named Feng Changlin's prized hog. 

"It’s hideous. No one will be willing to buy it, and it scares the family to even look at it!" Feng told Oriental Today.

That is a fair explanation. 

Moving on, what is up with monkeys?  Actually, the better question is what kind of backwater town is infested with these fuck-crazy monkeys who can't keep their collective dick in their collective pants?  If I was one of Feng's children, I'd be less concerned with The mutant from The Fly 2 that was rustling around out back, and more worried about the rapist monkeys creeping through my window and impregnating me.

I didn't even know this was possible.  I thought animals - except on rare occasions - could not mate.  Can they mate now?  Have they always been able to?  If so, why the hell aren't we cross breeding dogs and cats?  I'd like to see a koala and horse make babies.  Can you imagine?  They'd have pouches and claws and instead of carrots, the horses would eat bamboo and bite people all day.

Best. Link. Ever.

Click this link and find out how a model/musician and philosopher/actress spend their "non lesbian" time in an "interesting cyclic cycle of energy" that includes some guy who sold Napster for "like a billion dollars".
Best. Interview. Ever.<

dictionary entry as according to Mel Gibson

jew:
1. a person and/or persons who is either responsible for all the war in the world and/or is responsible for pulling over Mel Gibson when he is shitfaced

2. a person in a movie who is responsible for killing Jim Cavezial

3. a person and/or persons who is in possession of sugar-tits; typically of the female persuasion

jesus rots teeth... BOO!

this is just plain good times...

suddenly christian siriano seems mind blowingly clever

Project Runway has officially become a regular alligator fuckhouse.  To begin, what is up with the lack of advertising?  Especialy in NYC where Bravo is known first and foremost as the channel who  paved the way in pummeling people without mercy with posters of even their crappiest shows (Shear Genius). This time last year there were Project Runway ads in every conceivable nook and cranny, from trains planes to automobiles... and I am pretty sure they even wheatpasted several vagrant's syphilitic dicks
As of yet, I have seen nothing to promote PR.  And this is supposedly Bravo's major flagship whatever they call it. And how the hell did Lifetime - which is the second crappiest network ever - ever get the chips to buy it anyways?   Whatever.  Clearly Bravo is not cool with letting it go - even though they did presumably sell it to them - so they are letting it slowly die over the next two months. 

Moving on...

In regards to the characters - and here are characters set in extra bold typeface if I have ever seen them -  never have I seen such an accomplished group of hacks and wannabe PR breakout stars.   So desperate is their strive for wackiness and catchphrases that suddenly Christian Siriano seems so overwhelmingly endearing that I long for his 'fierce tranny hotmessiness' to break the wildly premeditated spell of this years second most shittiest contestant; a thirty year old shitbag named Suede (yes, his name is Suede... I assume it is a family name) who dyes his hair blue (yes, blue... and yes, he is thirty years old) and refers to himself in the third person (that, of course, being Suede).

But far worse than Suede is this fuckdick:

To the surprise of no one, his name is Blayne with a 'y'. And how perfect is that.  Here's a man who can't even come up with a passable ridiculous catchphrase.   His current catchphrase is "(blank)licious".  As in "that dress is girlicious."

Seriously?  What does that even mean?  That's not even clever.  I think there was even a show called that on the WB that featured the Pussycat Dolls.

On the last episode he actually referred to someone as "Darthlicious" which is presumably some sort of insult, but in actuality makes no sense whatsoever.  Fuck this show and fuck Tim Gunn for having some new weird ass title that is something along the lines of "creative director of some bullshit".

 

work is getting... un-manageable (is this a word? Yes. Probably it is. Yes

Williamsburg Brooklyn; a village of jobless tattooed assholes; alcoholics?

Beer P.O.V.

The young man

The young men both being young and ready to run at an incredible pace

Elderly man represents Baltimore in two ways

Surveying the property

This land passes muster... for now

Both capable of running at high speeds whilst also looking incredibly gay

Inflatable slip-n-slide P.O.V.

Too much shitty noise music. We leave early.

Went to see The Liars, The Fuck Buttons and some other band at McCarren Park in Williamsburg Brooklyn (where I live) the other day (a JellyNYC event). All in all it was a fun little thing except for the shitty noise music that built up to nothing whatsoever and was being played by two complete young tattooed trust fund assholes on synths. The screaming into the mics was bullshit and they can die for all I care. I am sure the bands we went to see were impressive except that we didn't see them because of the aforementioned assholishness.

Also, doesn't everything look much more fun through a fisheye lens.

NOTE: All photoed people , while they do live here, are neither assholes, nor jobless... which means we are better people also than you.

emmy voters, to the surprise of absolutely no one, prove not to be fans of The Wire

Here is the list of nominees for Host for a reality or reality-competition program

Ryan Seacrest, American Idol

Tom Bergeron, Dancing With the Stars

Howie Mandel, Deal or No Deal

Heidi Klum, Project Runway

Jeff Probst, Survivor

So, just to make this clear; there is a chance that one of these people Howie Mandel will win an emmy, but Andre Royo will not... Am I correct in thinking this?

Okay. Just wanted to make sure.

Moving on... who else stands to win an emmy that has nothing to do with The Wire? Good Question.

-Charlie Sheen for his work on that totem to mediocrity, two and a half men

-People from some show called 'breaking bad' ?

-Christina Applegate (nothing against her, but seriously)

-Some show called 'bernard and doris' ?

-John Cryer (two and a half men)